Indiana: A Thank You Note

I've lived in the state of Indiana for the last 2.5 years and learned a lot.  That last statement was really, really understated, but if I stated it fully, you wouldn't want to read this.  I want you to read this, so here are just five things I learned while living my life in a community (made of people) called Huntington.

#1 - I can't be anything good by myself.  

I don't want this to take a depressing turn right away, but this is the most foundational thing I learned while in Huntington.  I want to be the best version of myself as I can be, but by myself I only try and try and try and get nowhere.  This is because I am wrong about most things.  The only reason that it's ok that I am wrong is because I have had a lot of people around me and have showed me what right looks like.  I've learned that not a lot of right comes from inside myself, so I have to look around.  In Huntington, there were little pieces of right all over and all around me.

#2 - I am the problem.

Being surrounded by other people is both the best and the worst because other people are both amazing and awful.  The closer I got with the people around me, the more I wanted to run away from them, until I realized that my natural setting is to think other people whomp.  Slowly (and still slowly) I discovered that if I toned down my own whompiness, other people tended to whomp a lot less.  I say this not to be self-depreciating, but only to cancel out my own tendency to blame everything else on everyone but me.   

#3 - When life is awful - I am not the solution.

Life has the tendency to totally suck and see #2.  If I am the problem, then I can't be the solution.  For a long time I wasn't really willing to be open about myself because I still wanted to believe I could be my own solution.  I found that I didn't really believe (and still don't sometimes, by accident) #1 and #2.  Once I realized these tenets, however, I still didn't reach out.  That is because I was often afraid (and still am, by accident [and sometimes on purpose]).

#4 - There is nothing to be afraid of.

Almost everyone I've encountered is not out to help me or harm me.  Everyone seems to just be out to live their story the best way they know how.  I've learned that when I share my life with someone else, they start to see me as a resource for bettering their story, and they offer to be a resource to me.

#5 - People don't want problems.

This last thing is more related to counseling than to anything else, but it has huge implications.  When I learned this, I learned that while I do hurtful things, and the people around me do hurtful things, it's only because we are trying to do what's best.  Everyone hurts and everyone hurts others.  I learned to accept this in Indiana.  I learned that people can be really, really good.  And I've learned that the hurt of some people's stories goes much deeper than I had ever thought was possible.  I think most of all though, I learned to open up.  

Indiana has far fewer hills and valleys than Pennsylvania does.  There's a lot of space.  Space was what I found I needed.  That's why I'm saying "thank you".  And when I come back there will be laughter and there will be tears but I've learned that both of those are just another way to say "thank you."  So when you see me, just say "you're welcome," because I've learned that's all I ever wanted anyway.